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Asking someone out
It can be really nerve-wracking asking someone out on a date because they might say no. Just be friendly and nice to the person you are interested in. If you’re not confident enough to invite them out on your own suggest going out in a group environment. It’s a great way to get to know the person better and a chance to gain a closer friendship which could lead to a relationship. Many people worry how the other person feels but you should let them know how you feel; they might feel the same! If they do say no, at least you'll know where you stand!
I’m not interested!
If someone shows signs that they are interested in you, or they ask you out and you don’t feel the same, try to let them down gently. It takes a lot of courage for someone to tell you that they like you and rejection can often be hard to take. Think about how you would cope with rejection, so make sure you are polite.
Communication
If you do start dating, remember that communication is the key to any relationship as it leads to understanding. If there is understanding, then there will be fewer problems. Misunderstanding is a big factor in relationships that don't work out. You both will need to respect each other and talk to each other about things, even if you find it difficult or embarrassing.
Compromise
Just as you should be yourself, your partner should be too. This means that you won't agree on everything and could end up having rows. Accept that your partner has a right to their own views. You don't have to agree with those views, but you should respect them. It takes compromise to make a relationship work.
More than just friends
If you are thinking about taking your relationship further make sure that you are both ready and it is what you both want. You can read more in our article ‘Am I ready for sex’.
Useful websites
Essex Young Life
Information on a wide range of clubs and activities.
Sex – Worth talking about
Information and advice to make it easier to discuss everything to do with sexual health.
The Site
Provides factsheets and articles on all the key issues facing young people.
Need 2 Know - Relationships
Provides information on bullying, friendships and family.
Last updated: 20/06/11
Your Comments
Posted - 03:31, 26 Jan 2010
Hi, as you have been friends for a few years you are probably confident talking to her in group situations and one on one. To take the pressure of, you could invite her with a group of people as this can be less scary then asking them out directly. It is a good chance to have fun spending time with her. You could try asking someone out by saying something like, "a few of us are going to [a particular place], and do you want to come along?" This will help you build the confidence to ask the person out directly. If you’re still not confident you can sometimes find out what she thinks of you from her friends, but the only real way to find out is by asking her directly. If she says yes great if not maybe it was just not meant to be, and your perfect partner is still out there waiting for you to say hello. Best of luck Connexions.
Posted - 10:30, 20 Oct 2010
hi my name callum and i really like a girl in my school but im sked to ast her out what do i do?
Posted - 03:18, 22 Oct 2010
Hi Callum,
Thank you for writing to us. Just be friendly and maybe arrange for a group of you to go out together (maybe bowling or ice skating) and invite her and a friend along. Talk to her about her interests and if she seems to like talking to you perhaps you could then suggest just the two of you going out together say to the cinema. Meeting someone in a group for the first time is much easier than trying to see her on your own. School is the ideal place for group gatherings so hopefully you will find the right opportunity to speak to her, maybe even at one of the school clubs - try to find out if she belongs to any school club or group. Best of luck and don't get despondent if it doesn't work out - the more you try the easier it will get the next time. Connexions
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Posted - 03:39, 21 Jan 2010
i have a girl in my college who i really really like but i don't no if she feels the same about me i have been friends with her for 2 years now and we are close friends i just dont no what to do