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Why do people harm themselves?
Some people turn to self-injury as a way to express their feelings and emotions, or as a way to punish themselves. If they were abused, they may feel ashamed, guilty and blame themselves for the abuse. This in turn causes them to feel the need to punish themselves by inflicting pain on their bodies. People who cut themselves do this in an attempt to try and release all the emotions they are feeling internally. Often people don’t know why they self-harm, however for some it’s a way of releasing deep stress or emotional trauma. These could be painful emotions such as:
Overcoming stress or emotional pain
Usually people who self-harm are not suicidal, sick or insane they have just not learnt good ways of overcoming stress or trauma. As a result they can injure themselves in a number of different of ways such as:
- Scratching or cutting their skin
- Burning themselves
- Taking a drug overdose
This is their way of coping with their feelings and how they express anger towards themselves. Young people who self-harm have often had difficult or painful experiences and these may include:
- Bullying or discrimination
- Losing someone close to them such as a parent, brother, sister or friend
- Lack of love and affection or neglect by parents or carers
- Physical or sexual abuse
- A serious illness that affects the way they feel about themselves.
You're not alone
If you self-harm it’s important to realise that you are not alone, even though it can often be hard to admit to someone you trust because you may feel guilty or shameful. It’s important to remind yourself that there is no shame in what you're doing and it's okay to reach out and ask for help. You can talk to a Connexions Personal Adviser in confidence knowing that you will be treated with respect. Sometimes it can be difficult to explain why you self-harm but Connexions will listen to you, and with your permission can refer you to a counsellor or a support group who can help you take some control of your situation.
Help Lines
- Samaritans – 08457 90 90 90, Minicom 08457 90 91 92
- ChildLine – 0800 1111
- Connexions Direct – 080 800 13 2 19
Useful websites
Recover Your Life
A self-harm support community.
BBC - Emotional Health
The BBC answers commonly-asked questions about self injury and have advice on techniques that might help relieve feelings.
Self-Harming Truth
A Mental Health site which gives information on self-harm.
The Site - Self Harm
This site is a key information resource for young people who self-harm, their friends and families, and professionals working with them.
Self Injury & Related Issues
Free information about self-harm.
ChildLine
If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone you can contact ChildLine.
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